The Social Benefits of Self-Compassion
The following is the second of two excerpts from the just-released ebook, The Connection Mindset. To read more on self-compassion, and the other 9 practices of the Connection Mindset, download it for free by following the link below.
Self-compassion helps us socially in many ways. When we give ourselves permission to be imperfect, we become more authentic in our interactions with others. We are less tense and defensive, because we no longer need to hold up our image of perfection. Therefore, we are concerned less about how others may perceive us, which encourages us to be more available to them. This softening, this ease in being, makes us more approachable. Others are more happy to be around us.
Practicing self-compassion will gradually encourage others to do the same. In fact, your act of self-forgiveness, allowing space for your imperfections, may be the breath of fresh air your colleagues, partner, and friends need to do the same. Our hyper-competitive, hyper-self-critical society tells us otherwise, and yet, when those around you see how light it can be when we individually accept our shortcomings, they will want to do the same.
The collective self-compassion that can result reduces the collective need “to be perfect, or else…” Over time, we begin to understand that others will have our back when we slip. We will become more comfortable at discussing our own shortcomings, and recognize that they are shared by others, too. This helps us nurture the idea of common humanity. We are not truly separate from others. We ourselves suffer just as others do. This acceptance allows us to see more similarities. Therefore, it becomes easier to engage in a collective discussion of how to improve ourselves, our team, and our community. Without self-compassion, we perpetuate the cycle of hiding our faults and insecurities by pointing the finger at others, all the while continuing to feel separate, defensive, and isolated.
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Coach Wes publishes a weekly newsletter promoting wellbeing through positive psychology. To read more of his work, subscribe to Mэntal Musings.
